In pursuit of happiness ?

Nope - I have not seen the movie , although I have heard that it’s a good one .
Am I in pursuit of happiness ? I don’t know - maybe not ?

Happiness is a conscious choice , and I am responsible for any choice that I make for myself . Therefore , if I am not happy , I am CHOOSING to not be happy . So , do I want to be happy ?

This article is going to turn a turn down the dark twisted road , away from all the bright sunshine flower fields .
What is happiness ? Chemically it is nothing but the release of endorphines . Simple as that . Ensure that you are enabling a release of endorphines , and you will be happy forever .
Ah , but no -there is a catch (of course there is !) . I know that singing makes me happy . Trouble is - when I am unhappy , I JUST cannot get myself to sing .
There are infinite metaphors to tell you that YOU are the one in charge of your happiness . If I have fallen in a well and I want to climb up , all I have to do is grab hold of the rope and climb up .
Its not like I need help finding the rope , oh no the rope is very easily available . But how do I get myself to be WILLING to grab hold of that rope ?
This one is a tough nut to crack .

Lets say I choose to be happy . Then I am burdened by the choice of picking one from the wide platter of various flavours .
There are all kinds of happiness - happiness with smaller things in life , happiness due to the decisions I make , happiness out of pride , saddistic happiness even . Can I choose to pick up saddistic flavour  and still remain "happy " ?

Soceity has a big influence on the thought process of the social homo Sapien . Often , the question asked is "Why are you sad ?" . Very rarely do we question someone with "why are you happy?" .
What does this mean ? Within the deep sub conscious of the soceity , happiness is programmed to be the default state .
We EXPECT people to be happy . Why ? I don’t get it , I really don’t .
The spiritual masters will tell one to remain neutral - choose neither happiness nor sadness and just take every event objectively as it comes by . Understandable that soceity is still evolving . Therefore , at some point of time , we collectively decided that we cannot be neutral , it had to be either state high or state low.
Why did we pick up state high to be the default one ? It is causing so much trouble to so many ! To begin with - a person is not happy , and on top of it she is questioned WHY she is not happy ?

Maybe we need the soceity as a whole to realise that happiness is a conscious choice .
This  automatically eliminates a whole truckload of crappy questions , and the enormous effort involved in trying to answer them  :
"Are you happy" will be then "Are you CHOOSING to be happy ?"
At the very least , it can reduce down the frustrating thought process of sitting and pondering and analysing whether I am really happy or not !

Grey Matters!

Generally , I am not one to promote television series – especially the Star world ones . I know by experience how little it takes to get one addicted to something , and how difficult it is to come out of it .

Of course , knowing that you can always catch up with a TV series is like a constant companion – kind of like a modern day “Betala” , that you can turn on at will to listen to a new story . A constant companion who sits on your back , and more often than not , tempts you away from activities that may actually benefit you .

Even when I write this article on promoting “Grey’s Anatomy” , I do not claim  that it does not get one addicted , or that it is worth getting addicted to !

My sympathies and addictions towards Greys Anatomy lie purely from the fact that watching it opened up a new perspective for me .

For those who do not know the series , it revolves around the lead character Meridith Grey , and her peers who are doctors at a leading hospital in Seattle . The episodes showcase the complicated lifestyle and relationships of surgeons against the backdrop of death and suffering of numerous medical cases.

The series had a annoyingly catchy promotional track “Meet Meridith Grey – she is just like you , dealing with Life’s toughest questions” .

Within the first few episodes I realized how lucky I was NOT to be Meridith Grey ! I felt blessed that I wasn’t a surgeon.  I am so incapable of taking responsibility for my life , the thought of holding the responsibility of someone’s life in my hands is extremely unnerving ! In a way , one’s seemingly huge pain is minimized when it is placed next to pain of higher magnitude . But this reduction in pain by comparison is not all that the series has to offer.

The value of what we have is understood only when we lose it . When you apply it to relationships , one still stands a chance of rebuilding those relationships . But – what about  LIFE ??

Once you are about to lose it , there is no use of the realization that hits you !

We go about our daily lives , treating the body like a slave – giving it far too much stress , giving it far too little rest , not caring to nourish it .. in short taking it for granted that when we wake up the next day , our slave will show up  and complete the work at our bidding . And that too , with the same efficiency as yesterday . Its only when the body gives away ,when the slave throws up her hands in the air and quits her job ,  that  we realize that no other replacement will work .

Life is short , beautiful and Precious ! We are lucky – we are so lucky that we don’t even know it . We are lucky to have a heart which keeps ticking like a clock . We are lucky to have healthy organs . You are lucky if you have functional eyes that are enabling you to read this . I am lucky that I have two perfectly functional hands to type this out !

The realization of how precious life is … It is totally wasted on those who are on the verge of losing It .

It is upto the ones alive and kicking , to have take this realization when we can – and more importantly – act like we value it .

There are a million things we can do to improve our lifestyle – and all of them start with the mind .

I cannot hand out advice that I don’t follow :) . But personally , I have being trying this very difficult exercise – Whenever a bad situation slaps me in the face , I try to take a deep breath – and be grateful that I can breathe .

This gratitude alone can kill half the bitterness .

The Art of Living courses that I took taught me a very important thing –

“No breath , no life . Know Breath , Know Life “

In a way , it talks about how Pranayam can benefit you . But in a different perspective , Maybe the very “knowing” that we are ABLE to breathe , helps us know life better .

                                                                                                                                                       -Deepika

Balancing the See Saw

Being a Libran , my concept of balance in life was similar to two kids playing see-saw !
Once you are high up in the air , and the next moment you are down ,almost on the floor .
The goal was simply to go up as many times as you fall down .

Life was nothing more or less than an emotional roller coaster ride . The only thing to look forward to were the days when I would be on the right side of the see- saw .
I have spent hours and hours devising some magic formula that would help me stay in the right side of the see – saw forever !

One of my attempts to reach the magic formula was to start a “No Bullshit movement”.
I have spent days in rebellion , completely fighting the bullshit against me , and feeling good at winning .
But this was not a permanent solution . One cant say no to all bullshit , there is some bullshit one HAS to take .
There are sensitive situations , dealing with loved ones for example, where ensuring their peace of mind becomes more important than saying “No bullshit “.

How then , could I see myself sitting on the right side of the see-saw ??
The thing is , I can never see myself sitting there forever . The thing about the “high” side of the seesaw is – the excitement lasts only uptil you reach there . Once you are there , there is nothing to do , but sit with your legs suspended in mid air !! That is pretty boring !

Recently , I seem to have found pieces of peaceful moments !
I have really never found myself so much at peace in months .Not that there is no bullshit happening . It is happening , and yet it doesn’t seem to affect me .

Maybe this is because I am able to see some amount of the “bigger picture” .
Maybe I have realized that this bullshit is not going to stay forever , nor is any bullshit .. I look forward to the next upcoming happy event – something as simple as going home and eating a good meal .
Maybe the realization that my life is actually awesome , is klilling some of the bitterness …

The whole point of this story is simply this –
Saying No to Bullshit doesn’t work.
What works is recognizing bullshit what for what it is – a piece of crap that I don’t need to stamp on and get my feet dirty ( Crap being a synonym for crap , and feet being a synonym for mind )

I read a joke somewhere – “Dealing with situations is  just using the concept of mind over matter . If you don’t mind , it doesn’t matter !!”

The real realization is – this is not a joke !!!!

Balance in life is the balance between staying IN the situation and going ABOVE the situation and looking at it objectively .
Forget about saying no to bullshit . The real goal is to be deep in bull shit and yet , stay mentally elevated above it !
                                                                                                                           -Deepika

Give it a Break !

What is the worst thing one can break ?

One may argue that breaking someone’s heart is the worst thing one can do .

I disagree .

I say breaking gadgets is the worst thing one can do . I am one of the least materialistic girl among my peers , and I still say that breaking gadgets is the worst thing one can do .

And this , I speak from the following experiences (experiments ?)

-Having broken someone’s heart

-Having my heart broken by someone

-Having my phone broken by someone

-Having broken someone’s phone

Experience 1 was not a traumatic one at all . You see , WHILE I was busy breaking someone’s heart , I never got a feeling of one doing something wrong .

It was only AFTER that the feeling of guilt etc  overcame me.

Having my heart broken , was an altogether different experience . I was COMPLETELY convinced that I was the most depressed life form on earth at that instance of time . It took much realization to implement Buddha’s principle in my life . If someone gives me something , it doesn’t necessarily mean I receive it . My life and my heart are entities purely in my control . If I dont want to take crap , I can condition myself not to get affected by it .

This new realization helped me get past the trauma of experience 1 . If I did something that was considered as “heartbreak” by another person , it did NOT mean that I was responsible for their conscious decision to stay unhappy !

Having my phone broken by someone  was the real pain (For a fact , people who know me  would know that “someone” actually refers to me :P )

A broken heart I can repair by myself – but a broken phone ? Dear god , the pain of having to cross seven traffic jams in Bangalore (tougher than crossing the seven seas! ) and trace an undetectable service centre , just to know that the cost of repair exceeds the cost of buying a new phone . Once, I just dumped  the phone in the service station dustbin !It seemed a less painful option than getting the thing home and breaking my head over how to dispose it !

Experience 4 – THE worst experience . Take experiences 1 and 3 – club the pain associated with both of them  together , and you get the cocktail of experience 4 !

All the domestic troubles of figuring out how to repair what you have broken , plus the guilt of having broken it . (Unlike hearts , when you break a phone you are solely and fully responsible for it L )

In the present age , people are highly dependent on their gadgets to get through the day to day activities .A phone which does everything from waking one up in the morning , storing her passwords , enabling her to talk to dear ones ,and remind her of tasks to be done throughout the day – imagine not having it all of a sudden . I feel as lost as a manager whose personal assistant left the job – I have NO clue what groceries I need to buy , or whose birthday I am forgetting !

Sadly , for me – the irony of my life remains that I am an electronics engineer with the most nightmarish experiences with electronic gadgets . Even ironically , I work to enable the very same phones that I regularly keep destroying L (Of course , I ensure that my company gets more business !)

My best record has been  wrecking my smartphone , a borrowed phone from my room mate, and a brand new laptop of the same room mate - all in less than 10 days !!

My dad once asked me “Are we there for the benefit of the phone , or is the phone there for our benefit ?”

After much soul searching , I hereby conclude – The phone is like my employee . I need to ensure that my employee is well maintained , or my company cannot deliver !

                                                                                                                                                                                                    -Deepika 

The BitterSweet Saga

Ugadi - The festival that celebrates the balance between Sweet and Bitter of life in welcoming a new year .
Our perception towards life is the same as our perception towards Jaggery and Neem - A liitle more Jaggery , a little less Neem …  I need a little more sweet and a little less bitter ..
The whole purpose of celebrating the festival is to re inforce the lesson that too much sweet causes a tummy ache , and one can only know the value of sweetness when she has tasted bitter .

So we all come together in a spirit of celebration , and welcome yet another cycle of a mixture of sweet and bitter experiences .  This is all very good - all the welcoming , and hoping for nicer things …
What sucks is that we do not account for the bitterness that has accumulated within us over the years  .  Every year that passes by brings with it a share of bitter experiences , and the effect  that it causes in our lives do not magically vanish with the beginning of a new year . It has to be dealt with , and no matter how many more "sweet" experiences we get , the layer of bitterness covering us does not allow us to experience fully .
And we live in a hallucination , hoping to coat ourselves with sugary incidents , sugary experiences .. And wait for the bitterness to vanish ..

We do not live in a culture where forgiving is not encouraged .. Most of the movies that become famous have an element of vengeance in them .. What is selling as reality shows these days is nothing more than the dark side of human nature brought to the fore , where one simply does not forgive a mistake ..
Fighting back is good when you are standing up for something , but to not fight even while having an issue is one of the worst things possible .
When you fight, at least , there the issue is being tackled .. One human being having an issue with another human being is atleast fighting it out and trying to move towards closure  .. But simply holding on to a feeling of grudge towards another human being , simply nursing a deep feeling of jealousy towards another human being , and secretly hoping that  they fall -really it just sucks that we absorb so much bitterness and don’t let it out in any way ..

I probably might not have made much sense when you combine the article as a whole ,  but that is exactly how life works :)
A little bit of sense here and there , mostly nonsense - and on the whole a complete platter with all the flavours for those who want to taste fully . The whole point is , one must learn to clean her palette once in a while :)
You cannot taste sweet if you have layers of bitterness all over you .. Let go , forgive , and embrace the new experience as it comes . The bittersweet saga is never ending - simple statistics can point that out !
Ending with a conclusion is boring . So here I end with a question - Probability forecasts that the coming year shows a random pattern of happiness and sadness . How equipped are you to deal with the never ending cycle ?

                                                                                                                                    -Deepika