Revolutionary approach to Decision Making

I assure the reader that I am not going to propound a complex theory I came across in management circles. One of the worst investments I ever made in life was to buy a book called "decision making" .

It was utterly useless - not only did I spend a good amount of time trying to understand the parameters , I didn’t find one useful place in life where I could apply it !

Ever since then , I have been trying to figure out a way to simplify the PROCESS of decision making , and here are my thoughts on the same ..

Taking a life changing decision is a painful process (much more painful than living by a decision you made !) . Usually , when we have to take a decision within a fixed time , we  walk around with the heavy burden on our shoulders , brooding , taking advice from people , and yet not fully satisfied with most of the advice .

And even though we get good practical advice (hopefully) , in the end we end up doing our own thing . And later in life , we may sit and ponder -why did I take so and so decision ?

 I propose here the approach I took personally to take one of the major decisions in my life .

1. One needs to have a clear cut choice between various options available - ie - I should either stick to choice A , B or C .

2. Identify the factors on which to base  your decision.
3. Break down the main factors into sub set of criteria - this is very important . You need to know what criteria to base the decision on . Society places a lot of importance on "practicality and future planning" . Often , we are advised to "not be emotional" while taking a decision.

                   I disagree . For a wholesome individual , emotional satisfaction cannot be sidelined just because
                   other factors are "practical"

4. Based on the criteria , give a personal weightage (numerical value 1-10) to either A,B or C . I stress on the "personal " part because no matter how much advice u get from anyone - you and only you can determine the weightage YOU give to a criteria .
5. Add up the weightages and whatever option has the highest weightage , go for it !

An  example:

Confusion :

Should I stay in a PG or stay in a rented room with friends ?

Factor 1 : Financial and logistics

		Weightage to PG	Weightage to rented room
Costwise , PG is cheaper		3
If I stay in a room , I need to take care of domestic issues like cleaning , cooking etc		5
My parents etc can come and visit if I stay in a room			4

Factor 2 :Emotional

		Weightage to PG	Weightage to rented room
I can stay with friends			9
Freedom to come and go as I choose			7
I may feel safer in a PG (more company)		4

Conclusion :

Total PG weightage = 3+5+4 = 12

Total Room weightage = 4+9+7 = 20

Rented room wins , no questions asked !

One of the best advantages with this approach is that - I can actually  document the major decisions of my life !!

I am assured in my mind that I take a logical approach to take decisions (logical , not "practical" , which means I account appropriately for emotional factors ) . And years later in life , if I choose to , I can trace back and re assure myself that whatever I decided was purely logical to me at that point of time :)

One of my friends came up with a profound thought when I described this complicated procedure  " You would have already decided in your mind . All these processes are only to bring it out and justify your decision" !!

My purpose of putting this out in my blog is a hope that it helps others "decide how to decide" !!!

I would love to hear feedback and comments , and know whether this is as useful to others as it is to me :)

-Deepika

The power of wrong

I don’t believe that actions in life can be classified under "right" or "wrong " .

People do what they do because they have tuned themselves into whatever they are at the point of time they perform the action.

I am not  the best person to be involved in a lot of  people related interactions .(Honestly , I prefer the emotional sanity that animals have to offer ! ) Nevertheless , when I live life , I have to perform my activities with the interaction of homo sapiens - sometimes it can be really really trying .

With this article , I only try to bring out one of such exasperating experiences .

When I do something "wrong" - the sequence of events happening after the recognition of considered-wrong - action are extremely powerful .

I once saw a beautiful ted talk where the orator was asking this question to the audience " what did it feel when you did something wrong ?"

Everyone came up with answers like "guilt , regret , salvation .." .

He brushed aside all of them and said "You only talk about what you felt AFTER you performed the action . What about DURING the action ? When you were DOING something wrong , IT FELT RIGHT !!"

This is really a mind shattering thought . I mean , really , think about it . All the wrong in the world that you did - did you really feel you were doing "wrong" while you were doing it ?

If we establish this as the base , can we really justify the amount of suffering we have undergone after being brought to notice that we were wrong ?

There is something wrong with the way we have been brought to deal with wrong doers . When someone has done something wrong ,  it gives us an immense sense of power over them .

He did something wrong to me - therefore it gives me the right to deal with him however I want . I am "allowed" to lose my head about it and humiliate him . I am "allowed"  to be rude to him . I am "allowed" to deny him the basic human dignities !

Really , should we be this way ? Sometimes it even comes down to " let me wait for him to do something wrong , point it out to him , and then bask in the glory of his guilt ." Oh , and how can I miss this ? It is obviously my birth right to keep taunting about this to him till eternity !

The most obvious fact we miss is this - the "wrong" is an act of the past . It may have influenced your present , BUT from this point onwards you can be the change to influence the future . Yes , someone screwed up things . But the prio1 for you is to do the damage control and only then talk to the person to see what you can do to work it out and prevent a screw up in the future .

Don’t hold a gun against someones head for one act of wrong she committed - it is not humane . Let her breathe , and not cover herself in a blanket of self loathing and guilt.

And if she does the same "wrong" over and over again , even if you repeatedly try to make things fine . Well , then it sucks . Its just a matter of you gauging your threshold and the importance you give to the person in your life .  There is no point in entering the same loop of self pity over and over again .. Either stay away from the person , or learn to not be bothered .

All of the above for the person empowered by being at the receiving end of the wrongful  act . For those at the committing end of the wrongful act - till soceity grows up , you will be reminded of the "sin" you committed every step of the way . It really sucks - but here is one pointer that I find helpful .

"People" are not really "people" - they are simply the sum total of their experiences . If they behave in some undesirable fashion , it is simply because the extrapolation of their  experiences tells them to do so . Don’t take them too seriously - they are not yet tuned to accept this new experience .

Well , the whole motto of everything is - wrong or right - hoping that someone suffers is never justified . And undergoing suffering yourself is pointless . Minimize any suffering under your control ,  and make the journey worthwhile  :)